Lies...

I find it amazing how some people are just compulsive manipulative liars. I can understand little white lies to get you out of trouble, but when it comes down to it, being honest and open about certain things, serious things, no matter how much it may portray your image...it's actually a lot easier to forgive afterward and move on with your life.

It's redundant, it's appalling, and it will continue to hurt people.

I'm constantly searching for the truth, and no matter how much I want to trust, it just doesn't adhere anymore. And the thing about me is that I am one of those people who will bend over backwards and forgive people...and for what? To be hurt again? I bluntly accept people back into my life and go way in over my head to do things that will in the end hurt me. I'm nonchalant, I continue to make the same mistakes, in different stages of my life, and they all hurt just about the same.

The past is the past, but sometimes you need to dig up the bones and come forward before you continue to hurt not only me, but others.

I'm not guilty. I've done nothing wrong.

Ok.

It's your turn.

"take chances, make mistakes. that's how you grow. pain nourishes your courage. you have to fail in order to practice being brave." -mary tyler moore

Another easter has came. nothing like a monday morning listening to some music before i get ready for work. So the song by journey came on " open arms" and it reminded me of an old friend of mine. Whom i found out a few days ago will be moving out and starting a new life in california. I was hanging out with my older brother of mine and he confirm of he's departure which would be today. A somber cloud came over me, reminiscing about the past years of when we use to be close friends. Just thinking about the good memories we had hanging out.


brb<<

march madness

Its nearly the middle of march. I've been back for 5 days now. It seems that getway was a long time ago. Im feeling like i need to hustle..I don't like this feeling not one bit, but there isn't anything i can do about it. I have put myself in this situation and im really trusting god that every will be okay. =/, My bills are outragious and yes i need to ramble about it. Thats why after class today i will be calling job#2 and offering them my services on the week day for a few hours. It all adds up, believe me. ( i think these are all fragments and run-on sentence, grr) Anyway, if my manager pulls through and says yes to come in..I calculated that if i did that the next 2 months they i can knock 2 of my ccs down. im praying to the almighty thats the one of the only 2 he can help me on besides giving me strength.
I've hung up these little cards of mine to a safe place.

assumptions make an ass out of you and i

nothing irritates me more than stereo-typical assumptions, for example i repeat i am not a NURSE! Just because of my ethnicity doesn't mean i am in that field. Granite, i am in the medical field but im staying clear of that field. It takes some special people to do that work and have immense respect for them. But lets face it, if you can't hack it don't try and oh yeah radiology is like the best field to be in..hahaha (feel the sarcasm)

helloOoo!!!

Another unpredictable weather with oklahoma. We're suppose to get an ice storm tonight. Im most definitley am ready for the warm weather. So its been a few weeks since i've lost blogged. Catch you up!

-still working 2 jobs
-rad class im actually very ecstatic about my result of my first test.
-counting down to D.C., 7 more days baby...
-I turned 24..oh geez!
-Medical School possibly?
-Which means, Get cracking on my gpa, classes. This is rediculously annoying on my part!=/
-I still need to learn how to make better choices.
-Keep my feet grounded and finally pay off all my cc's. Im definitley focusing on that at the moment. Im hanging them up. Untill its safe to do so.
-I love god, he's given me the strength to go on and to keep on going when i wanted to just give up.
-my family, who i love and adore. The once that are here and the once up above they are amazing.

oh yeah, did i mention 7 more days till D.C.

Winter...

Its freezing, i went to look for a new jacket for my upcoming getaway to the east coast. Low and behold the stores have the spring/summer line out. At first thought, are you kidding me? its 30 degrees and you have a a bathing suit up? Its oklahoma...

on to other things. Its been 3 weeks and counting with my second job. I'll admit that is some crucial thing. Considering how my schedule is already limited as it is. 40/hr week as well as school. To add another 20 hours of work..its madness. But im dealing atleast till i get my finance stable or paid off. boo..

So, god is working in mysterious ways. Im keeping my faith in him. I'll fill in the details as soon as it is all gets clear-er..