August Blueesss

Its has been months since i've blog. Im very busy now-days. 2 jobs as well as going to school. Im trying to find a happy medium.
I don't know if im loosing my mind trying to be patient to get through radiology school. Im still pondering if i should wait and apply for the Ou program or the Tcc route in which i know their curriculum, the professors. If i go through the Ou program, which im excited about and even harder to get into than Tcc's program, i would graduate with a bachelors versus another associates at Tcc. Im taking my mood day by day. I've notice my mood swings have been hype lately. Im sure its from the lack of sleep,the lack of feeling that accomplishment that im slowly but surely underway, of course the typical BILLS,and why am i working 2 jobs again with nothing to show for? The longing to go to the philippines for a long vacation and spend time with the cousins,seeing one of my favorite tita's who decided to move back to the motherland to retire who i also missed dearly,And lastly, im 25 and im not in love. I need a change, i need someone to inspire me back into the person i need to be. I will feel 100x better if i lost 80 lbs of chub chub haha gaahh i really have cultivated into that american kid. eeewww

Finally went out this past weekend to my friends wedding/bachelorette party which i finally let loose, drank,played games with the girls, went to the club. Little did i realize how drunk i got. I just saw the pictures which honestly to say, i have some beautiful,fabulous, hot - ass girl friends. Then there was me, the fat girl. oh the picture really did disgust me. I could cry, i cringed looking at it. I really need to just dig inside me and find the will to get through my plans or else im never going to get anywhere or accomplish what i really want to do.May god help me! Even when i went back to the p.i. im still surrounded by my beautiful cousins,couple of friends. Yet i felt that i was never the typical small girl. I've always been athletic growing up, than i hit the age of 17 and i discovered by boys. Small frame bodies should never be B-i-G.
Its time to really do something, i can't handle it. Im going to kick this thing in the ass, like jillian in the biggest loser show..

I need words of encouragement!

Thank you, this was my rant!